Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
