I wanna bring you to show and tell
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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