after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
