Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
