so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
