oh god the rape fog is back!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
