The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
