I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
