Tell her she can't have a vagina
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
