would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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