shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The power of my boobs compel you
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
