I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
