Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
