Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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