Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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