you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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