Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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