Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
