Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
