Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
