He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
