So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
