I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My feet surprised me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
