Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
