if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
