Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
