afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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