I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
