I think I just saw someone hide a body.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
