Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
