We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Even my vagina gasped.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
