new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
