There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's just like the Real World with babies
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
