is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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