??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
