you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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