I love black thongs
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
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