I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
That's intense
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
