Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He felt like a one man threesome
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
