So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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