office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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