I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
