i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Did I show you my penis last night?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
