She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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