My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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