Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
