I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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