Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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