How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
