i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
