Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And then he peed in my hair
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