Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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